Rite of Passage

Well I made it through my first two weeks of med school and my first two exams. I would be lying if I said I haven’t been nervous about the material, the amount of material, and of course the exams.

Truthfully, the material itself is not overly complicated. In fact much of what we have gone through thus far is very similar to things I have already learned in my undergraduate degree, though there is a much greater emphasis placed on the clinical importance of those topics (as very rarely was any such importance placed on said information previously). I anticipate this trend to fall away in the future though as we get into more in depth topics, and of course anatomy, which is coming up soon, will be completely new for many of us, myself included.

However, the amount is substantially greater than what we are accustomed to from undergrad. It is no exaggeration to say that every day of class is equivalent to about a week of undergraduate classes. Meaning in the course of one week, we are expected to synthesize information that we would have been given five weeks to synthesize in the past. Of course, not only are we expected to get through and understand the material, we are also expected to study it in such a way that we will remember it clearly even after the test, as we will need this knowledge continuously throughout school, throughout residency, and onwards. It is a daunting task to say the least.

The fact that I made my way through university, including undergrad and a masters, by basically cramming for exams is somewhat worrisome. It meant that I would study and remember (at least briefly) the content of an entire course, being 12 weeks, in 1-2 days. On the plus side, I have learned to synthesize vast amounts of information in a very short amount of time. Yet the ability to recall that information reliably is scattered at best. I would like to say that I have managed to completely shift away from this practice, but I would be lying. As the saying goes, “old habits die hard”, though after writing my first set of exams I have promised myself that I will put in considerable effort to ensure that this habit ends up coming to an unfortunate, or in this case fortunate end.

Part of my problem is that I need pressure to motivate me. I love performing under pressure because I feel as if there are actual stakes involved in what I am doing, that there are actually consequences to not doing well. I would guess that I am not the only person in the field of medicine who possesses this trait, and likely part of the reason I want to go into surgery. Of course though, it gets me into trouble at times, such as when I should be studying for a test, and am having a hard time motivating myself to do so until there is very little time left. Going forward though, I intend to remind myself of the painful experience of studying for this test, should I have any trouble in being motivated to study each and every day.

So did I pass the test? Yes. We need to receive at least a 65, plus or minus the standard deviation for the test, which in reality likely means we need at least a 70 in a course to pass. Though our foundations of clinical medicine course, in which we learn how to interact with patients, perform a proper physical, and take a proper history requires at least an 80 to pass. I will not say exactly what my grades were, but I passed with a comfortable margin between what I got and what I need to pass.

Our program uses a pass/fail system, though the term they use is competency achieved or competency not achieved. I find the choice of wording to be particularly well suited to a class of future doctors, as it is likely the one quality all patients would prefer their doctors possess.

Overall, much of the nervousness I was experiencing previously has been assuaged by my experiences the past two weeks, and I feel reassured that I can and will be successful in my program. Yet, there is still what I would call a healthy amount of nervousness still hanging around. I intend to let it motivate me to remain focused on school and on my success in the thirty six or so exams left during my first year of medical school. I am however, both relieved and grateful to have made it through this initial rite of passage.